Wednesday What's Cooler: Rocky Taconite or the Two Harbors Rooster?

ROCKY VS ROOSTER

In Silver Bay, Minnesota sits a statue that "honors the genius of those who figured out how to change a useless rock into a valuable product." His name is Rocky Taconite. He is this cheery little dude who holds a pick and wear's a miners hat and greets all passersby that enter Silver Bay via County Rd. 5 or Outer Drive or whatever you want to call it. Built in 1964, Rocky is a symbol of the transition from taconite to steel. To me, he is a reminder that MLBDoggy is about to vomit in the back seat of the family car. She usually gets car sick every time we go to Silver Bay, and in front of Rocky is her favorite puking spot.

I think that MLBMommy might have a secret crush on Rocky. Her personal image on her google mail account is of Rocky's smiling face. Odd? Yeah.

In Two Harbors, Minnesota, in front of a gift shop, sits a eight foot tall rooster. Yep, it really does. The rooster is made of fiberglass and was erected in the 1960's when the gift shop owner had a choice between similar statues of a dinosaur, a bear, or a horse. Now why did he choose a rooster? MLBDaddy thinks its because he wanted everyone to marvel at the size of his... chicken. Anyways, the rooster is pretty sweet. Two of the town's most major news stories over the past 20 years have centered around the thievery of the rooster. In 1997, the rooster was stolen by a rival graduating class and the newspaper ran with the headline "12 Foot Cock Stolen." In 2003, the rooster was again stolen and driven 20 minutes south to Duluth where it was thrown off an overpass of I-35 and crashed to its demise. The rooster had to be replaced as a result of this tragic act.

So what's cooler, Rocky Taconite or the Two Harbors Rooster? I know I might take some flack from the family on this one, but I have to go with the Two Harbors Rooster. I'm all for things that have no rhyme or reason for existing yet are still well known by people all over the world. The rooster is basically the only thing that the city of Two Harbors has going for it, and without it I can't think of another quality reason to live there.

An Ode to Spring Training

Baseball season is finally here,
it's MLBDaddy's time to cheer.
Lets review and look ahead,
the creator of 'Smell Em' they call Red.

All the teams have opened up camp,
A boggy marsh is pretty damp.
Pitchers and catchers are getting in work,
Barry Bonds is still a jerk.

Lets take a look back at the off season,
there's been lots of changes for many reasons.
Torii gone, Santana too, BOO HOO(F)
Many pounds have been lost by Boof.

There was once a man who lived near Nantucket,
He took a big needle, in his butt he stuck it.
The steroids made him big and strong,
Now he's just another ding dong.

How embarrassing that must be for him,
Chances he will make the hall are slim.
I realize he didn't want to give up home runs,
but why put steroids in your buns?

Anyways, I'm sick of all that crap,
maple trees have sticky sap.
It's time to move on, am I not right?
Who the heck is pitching on opening night?

I'd have to say I'm pretty darn nervy,
Marisa Miller is nice and curvy.
The Twins pitching is young and unproven,
I use U-Haul for all my movin.

Who's playing center, second, and third?
Nick Punto is a frickin turd.
I'd like to see Mauer have a good year,
I'd also like a life time supply of beer.

Is anyone sold on Delmon Young,
or is he a pile of monkey dung?
I think that he'll be a crap addition,
lots of problems is my premonition.

The critics think the Twins will stink,
My cousin Robby dresses in pink.
I hope they are at least a decent squad,
For that I will stand and applaud.

It doesnt matter if they are good or not,
MLB's nose will be full of snot.
Together we will watch many a game,
I'll snuggle him and teach him all the players names.

I can't wait for the first pitch,
its like a scratch that needs an itch.
Yay yay yay, who needs another reason?
It's almost time for baseball season!!

Wednesday What's Cooler: Being Dennis Anderson or Being Sven Sundgaard?

Denny vs. Sven

Dennis Anderson is a legend. He ends his WDIO TV broadcasts each and every night by saying "Good night and be kind."

Check out this list of cool squat he does, none of which is made up, I swear... he has been a licensed pilot for 29 years, he is a taxidermist and has been since 1959, he fishes, hunts, snowmobiles, and builds model railroads. Is that all you ask? No, not even close. The man is also an ordained minister, a father of four, a grandfather of ten, and wears a toupe. My wife once saw him mowing his lawn while wearing a speedo. I am crap kicking you not.

Not only does he anchor the Duluth news, but he has also been the host of the annual SMDC New Years Eve party held at the DECC each year. He gave it up when he realized he was way too cool for the party. Hard to believe anyone could be cooler than a night highlighted by the music of Sh-boom isn't it?

Sven Sundgaard is a spikey-haired, metrosexual who is inspired by Galileo and his favorite sport is ski jumping. UMMM.

Anyways, he used to be a weatherman in Duluth before he became TC and left for a job at Kare 11 in the Twin Cities. From what I remember, he is a cheery, upbeat chap who has a serious passion for the weather. He is a sell out just like his buddy Edward Moody who also left Duluth for "greener pastures".

Sven has his own blog where he discusses important world issues such as horses, rainbows, and running in spandex. I hear he as become quite popular in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and some think he has even reached cult status.

So what's cooler, being Dennis Anderson or Being Sven Sundgaard?

Although MLBDaddy may have a slight bias towards a man that has served his community for almost 40 years, he is still thinks Dennis is much cooler than Sven. Bias or not, it's hard to argue with a man who's mustache is thick enough to hide and keep fresh cookie crumbs he ate the night the Edmund Fitzgerald sank on Lake Superior.

Definitions

A few posts back MLBDaddy defined Jags, Zippys and Yahoos and allowed readers to comment on a word or phrase they would like to learn MLBDaddy's definition of. Those definitions are as follows, along with a sentence that uses the word combined with the commenter who submitted the request...

eejit - if hooked up to a brain monitor, an eejit would register as a legally brain dead person.

MLBDaddy uses "eejit" in a sentence: My sister Anne is a complete eejit who likes to shop for sweaters at Tuuurget.

stereotype - To make judgement (usually negative) about a person, place or thing before gathering the appropriate amount of information required to make a judgement. To make a hasty generalization based on little evidence or hearsay

MLBDaddy uses "stereotype" in a sentence: Not to stereotype, but government workers, even retired ones like Squirmysgp, are clock-watching, initiative-blocking bureaucrats, ignorant about the financial constraints of the real world.

shorty - A male term used to define a female he finds attractive, particularly fine, or hot. Shorty's usually get "holla'd at" because they are irresistible to the male eye.

MLBDaddy uses "shorty" in a sentence: If he wasn't a dude and if he didn't wear a fanny pack while sporting a man bag, Tony Gjerdahl could probably be Jay-Z's shorty.

douchebag - A completely inappropriate word that should never be used at work, on a blog, or anywhere else. Basically it's another way of calling some one a turd sandwich, only it adds a little extra zing.

MLBDaddy uses "douchebag" in a sentence: When MLBDaddy writes bad code or asks annoying questions, his coworker Beanski, will either ignore him or call him a douchebag and carry on with her day.

meatball - A person lacking common sense who thinks they are always right about everything. This can also refer to a person who is overweight and almost perfectly round in shape.

MLBDaddy uses "meatball" in a sentence: If Joepa eats enough donuts, he will more than likely fit into both meanings of the word meatball.

numnut - A male who once got struck in the privates and has let the experience negatively affect the rest of his life.

MLBDaddy uses "numnut" in a sentence: When Joepa was five years old he survived a horrific bike accident in which he landed awkwardly on the handlebars and has ever since been sort of a numnut.

mack daddy - A male who has more game than can be contained in a large bottle or jar

MLBDaddy uses "mackdaddy" in a sentence: Landing a fly shorty like Jenny Cook must have taken some serious mackdaddy skills.


So there's MLBDaddy's definitions. Add your own definitions or sentences in the comments section or throw another word my direction and I can do another one of these posts down the road. Buh-Bye!

An Ode To Fischer Price Musical Toys

MLBDaddy hears them every day,
during little MLB's time of play.
He pushes the buttons and sits back to enjoy,
the sounds that reverberate from his toys.

Some are soft, gentle, and fun,
while others annoy everyone.
Some make him laugh while others make him learn,
its double plays he wants to turn.

It might be counting or a nursery rhyme,
we hear them all if we wait some time.
They keep his attention for at least a bit,
but not as well as his bat and mitt.

I think that the toys are good and fine,
but hearing them daily sends shivers down my spine.
I am not one to dis,
But one of the tunes goes something like this...

'Shapes are in my cookie jar,
Triangle, heart and star,
There's a circle over there,
Here's a square.'

Not that that is all that bad,
its not like it makes me mad.
As long as MLB is smiley and bright
He can play with his toys all day and night.

I bet you didn't know...

Some dude named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

Lets analyze, shall we?

Apparently this guy started hiccuping back in the 20's and didn't stop until 1990. Even weirder, the hiccups started while the guy was slaughtering a hog. Does slaughtering a hog have some sort of magical way of enducing hiccups? I'm not shocked that he is from Iowa either. Weird things happen in Iowa. Also, having the hiccups for 69 years is probably one of the only ways to make living in Iowa interesting.

When he first started hiccuping they say he hiccuped 40 times per minute. They estimated that he hiccuped 430 million times during his life. How could the guy ever get anything done? How did he not jump off the nearest bridge? How is he not know as a great American hero? I'm pretty sure I have a lot of respect for the guy.

Do you think people that met him would sneak up on him and before he realized they were there yell things at him to try to scare the hiccups out of him? How many times do you think he tried holding his breath to get rid of them? Do you know anything else that he could have tried? Also, how is there not a medical procedure that could have cured this condition?

Charles was also married twice. There is no word on if the hiccuping forced the end of his marriages or not. I can't imagine 30-40 hiccups per minute throwing a wrench in my relationship with MLBMommy, she can put up with anything.

So what have we learned here? 1). The hiccups suck. 2). Don't slaughter pigs. 3). Don't live in Iowa. 4). My wife rules!

Let's Sign Livan?

Livan Hernandez is fat, old, and can't get guys out.

I'm begining to question if Bill Smith can do this job. An MLBDaddy inside source informed me after hearing Smith speak at a recent coaches clinic that I should be very concerned with the Jag who is running my favorite team.

Do you think Smith watched any Twins games last year? Is it possible he didn't know that Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz were on the team? Did he not watch them give up more runs and look more pathetic than Ferd Fredrickson did in his last outing in the Arrowhead league?

I'm not sure how many washed up old guys that can't get outs it takes to prove that washed up old guys can't get outs, but it appears the Twins are trying to find out. This free agent signing is so meaningless and wrong that I even preempted talking about it to discuss Man Bags and Fanny packs. That's sad.

After having a few days to think about it and a chance to read what the experts have to say, I hate this signing. I think it is pretty obvious that the Twins are going to struggle to compete this year given the youth and inexperience of their starting rotation. That is a statement that I don't want to have to repeat again at the start of next season. The only way that I won't repeat it is if the team decides to give innings to their young guys who need to learn how to get outs, instead of to old guys who can't get outs.

Hernandez is a good signing for a team that needs a 4th or 5th starter to solidify a playoff caliber rotation. The Twins are far from that. I wish they would trust the talent they have and let it develop.

Also, I wish I could get $5 million to throw 85 mph, be fat, old, and not get guys out.