"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Are you a hatcher or a smasher?
I my friends, am a smasher.
Let's take for example making pancakes. One time, I was making pancakes on a leisurely weekend morning with not another care in the world. I was intent on turing my delicate mix of batter into the pefectly round golden brown goodness it was meant to be. It turned out on this particular morning that my usual steady flipping hand was failing me. Time and again as my jacks were ready for a flippin, I would destroy them by making a crappy turn. Batter was here, batter was there, batter was each and everywhere. Frustration set in after several poor turns and a wave of rage surged through my body resulting in a spatula toss and a few choice words. It's a moment I am not proud of. Sadly, I have been unable to go back to flapjack flippin since.
I'm a smasher.
Lets take for example home improvement projects. MLBMommy can attest to the fact that you probably don't want to be in a room with me during any sort of home improvement work. Generally, I go into a home improvement situation with good intentions in hopes that the project will be as easy, straightforward, and time friendly as it seems. Then, when it doesn't go that way, I turn into little Miss Pissy Pants within minutes. Why? Because A) I'd rather be doing something else and B) anything that Zippy of the Year candidate Ty Pennington is better than me at is clearly something that is going to pet my peeve. Things that involve hammers, tape measures, screwdrivers, wrenches, pliers, paint brushes, saws, and other standard tools also involve a bit of small motor coordination, something of which I am greatly lacking. I can't button my own shirt cuffs either. Smash, smash, smash!
I'm a smasher.
Lets take for example waiting for MLBMommy to prepare for a night out. As most guys are, I'm a hop in the shower, slap on some deodorant, throw on a shirt and pull on some pants and I'm ready to go type. It doesn't take a whole lot to make this body beautiful. It doesn't take a whole lot to make MLBMommy beautiful either, but that doesn't mean she doesn't TAKE HER SWEET TIME. I'm a punctual person, I like to leave early for things and I'm probably a 9.5 out of 10 on the analability scale when it comes to being late. MLBMommy is a show up right on time type which makes me nervier than your mom used to be when you stayed out too late in high school. Almost without fail when we have somewhere to be or something to do, the seconds, minutes and hours leading up to our departure is a test of my patience. Usually I fail the test and we have a dialogue similar to this...
ME: Ready yet?
HER: Almost.
Two to five minutes elapse
ME: About ready?
HER: Just about.
One to three minutes elapse.
ME: We are supposed to be there at 7:30.
HER: Yes, I know Tom.
Thirty seconds elapse.
ME: Let's freaking go. (Said in a sarcastic tone but meant with a strong hint of smash.)
And the pattern continues in similar fashion up until we finally leave.
Over the 4 years of our marriage I have tried time and again to not have this conversation, but have failed on each attempt. Why? I'm a smasher.
Someone wise once said "patience is a virtue." Obviously they were right because its definately not cool to abuse kitcken utensils, wear pissy pants, or rush anyones beautification process.
The moral of the story is...No matter how trying a situation is on your patience you should always try to remember your incubator. Become a hatcher, it will lead to a happier life for you and those around you.
And that is about as deep as I will get.
Let me know if you are a hatcher or a smasher though mmmk.
About Me
- mlbdaddy
- Minnesota, United States
- Baseball-loving father of two. Passionate about sports, time with family, and eating.
10 comments:
seeing as how i make the pancakes, do the projects, and don't get to parties 15 minutes early, i would say i'm the hatcher.
mmmm...pancakes sound good
LOL excellent post. i think i'm a smasher, too. although i have to admit, i think wifee waits for me most of the time. but i have excuses locked and loaded..."you don't have to put contacts in, you don't have to shave, i brush my teeth longer, etc. etc." p.s. how's the celebrity clause coming? haha :)
i'm laughing that you had issues in the kitchen. i had an issue in the kitchen where i ended up crumpling up a recipe card and throwing it across the room. looking back, i think i might have turned into little miss pissy pants as well.
smasher it is.
You call it smasher, I call it 110% Nut job. I am, however with you on the, "if you are not 15 minutes early, you are late" type of mentality. I have noticed that the further South you go, the more acceptable it is to be late to stuff. Take JD (Reno) for example: Dudes always late, dudes from Reno. The opposite: Santa's always on time, dudes from the north pole... I'm seeing a trend here.
how do you come up with these?
according to your definitions, i would say i'm a smasher. i hate to be any less than 10 minutes early.
Smasher definately. I have to be early and it peeves me to no end if I even THINK I'm going to be late!
Quite confident I'm a smasher. Although I've eased up on the "must be early" thing since having a baby. They make a good excuse for being late. Not to mention a good excuse for leaving a dull social event early:)
smasher all the way.
I'm totally a smasher too.
I NEED to be early to things...I get freakin' frantic if we are not leaving with enough time to be early. And I'm always waiting for hubby, who takes 5 minutes to get ready, but starts about 5 minutes after I think we should leave. "Just gotta throw my shoes on" is his way of replying to my nags.
But he is the same way as you during home improvement projects...sometimes I just know when to stop talking and leave the room quietly...nothing good comes from watching while he spazzes.
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