I Did it all for the Nookster by Squirmy G

Squirmy G in the Studio - Nookster in Mouth

I came into this world as a little guy

Look into these eyes

Then you'll see the size of my baby blues

Dwellin on the past

I'm turnin in my crib

Everyone that falls has to learn from the pain

Hey I think about the day

My Mommy ran away with my bottle

When fellas come to play

No she stuck with my sippy cup that she heated

And I'm just a buster with a scratch up on my cheek

Hey, like a Squirmy

Should I be feelin' bad?YAY

Should I be feelin good? YAY

Its kinda sad I'm the biggest Squirmster in the neighborhood

You would think that I'd be movin' on

But I'm a Squirmy like I said

Crawlin on the floor, not!!

Maybe she just made a mistake

I should give her a break

My heart will ache either way

Hey, what the hoooo

Watcha want me to say

I wont lie that I cant deny

I did it all for my Nookster

C'mon My Nookster C'mon

So you can take that Nuk

And stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

Stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

Stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

Why did I sleep so long?

Why did I sleep so long, huh

To figure it out would be tough

And I'm the only one underneath my blankey
I cant believe that I can be deceived

By my so called Daddy, but in reality

He Had hidden agenda

He hid my nook next to the blender

And still I surrendered
Hey, like a Squirmy

I did it all for my Nookster

C'monMy Nookster C'mon

So you can take that Nuk

And stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

Stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

Stick it in my mouth, yeah!!

I'm only one Squirmy

Its so easy for your friends to give you their toys

They tell you to play with them

But its easier said then done

I appreciate it

I do, but just leave me with my Nuk

Leave me with my Nuk

Just leave me with my Nuk!!

Just leave me with my Nuk!

Lots of diapers to change

If you can go away

Im just gonna stay here and always with my Nuk

Lots of diapers to change

If you can go away

Im just gonna stay here and always with my Nuk

Lots of diapers to change

If you can go awayI

m just gonna stay here and always with my Nuk

I did it all for my Nookster, PEACE!

Which are you?

"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Are you a hatcher or a smasher?

I my friends, am a smasher.

Let's take for example making pancakes. One time, I was making pancakes on a leisurely weekend morning with not another care in the world. I was intent on turing my delicate mix of batter into the pefectly round golden brown goodness it was meant to be. It turned out on this particular morning that my usual steady flipping hand was failing me. Time and again as my jacks were ready for a flippin, I would destroy them by making a crappy turn. Batter was here, batter was there, batter was each and everywhere. Frustration set in after several poor turns and a wave of rage surged through my body resulting in a spatula toss and a few choice words. It's a moment I am not proud of. Sadly, I have been unable to go back to flapjack flippin since.

I'm a smasher.

Lets take for example home improvement projects. MLBMommy can attest to the fact that you probably don't want to be in a room with me during any sort of home improvement work. Generally, I go into a home improvement situation with good intentions in hopes that the project will be as easy, straightforward, and time friendly as it seems. Then, when it doesn't go that way, I turn into little Miss Pissy Pants within minutes. Why? Because A) I'd rather be doing something else and B) anything that Zippy of the Year candidate Ty Pennington is better than me at is clearly something that is going to pet my peeve. Things that involve hammers, tape measures, screwdrivers, wrenches, pliers, paint brushes, saws, and other standard tools also involve a bit of small motor coordination, something of which I am greatly lacking. I can't button my own shirt cuffs either. Smash, smash, smash!

I'm a smasher.

Lets take for example waiting for MLBMommy to prepare for a night out. As most guys are, I'm a hop in the shower, slap on some deodorant, throw on a shirt and pull on some pants and I'm ready to go type. It doesn't take a whole lot to make this body beautiful. It doesn't take a whole lot to make MLBMommy beautiful either, but that doesn't mean she doesn't TAKE HER SWEET TIME. I'm a punctual person, I like to leave early for things and I'm probably a 9.5 out of 10 on the analability scale when it comes to being late. MLBMommy is a show up right on time type which makes me nervier than your mom used to be when you stayed out too late in high school. Almost without fail when we have somewhere to be or something to do, the seconds, minutes and hours leading up to our departure is a test of my patience. Usually I fail the test and we have a dialogue similar to this...

ME: Ready yet?
HER: Almost.
Two to five minutes elapse

ME: About ready?
HER: Just about.
One to three minutes elapse.

ME: We are supposed to be there at 7:30.
HER: Yes, I know Tom.
Thirty seconds elapse.

ME: Let's freaking go. (Said in a sarcastic tone but meant with a strong hint of smash.)

And the pattern continues in similar fashion up until we finally leave.

Over the 4 years of our marriage I have tried time and again to not have this conversation, but have failed on each attempt. Why? I'm a smasher.

Someone wise once said "patience is a virtue." Obviously they were right because its definately not cool to abuse kitcken utensils, wear pissy pants, or rush anyones beautification process.

The moral of the story is...No matter how trying a situation is on your patience you should always try to remember your incubator. Become a hatcher, it will lead to a happier life for you and those around you.

And that is about as deep as I will get.

Let me know if you are a hatcher or a smasher though mmmk.

April 25th...

Is the the birthday of many a famous person including:

Jacod Underwood - from the sweet band O-Town.
Jason Lee - The dude from "My Name is Earl"
Renee Zellweger - She has even been to Duluth, MN
Talia Shire - "Yo Adrian" - She was Rocky's girlfriend
Al Pacino - Legend
Meadowlark Lemon - Balled with the Globetrotters
Ella Fitzgerald - Jazz Singer
Edward R. Murrow - News man. I watched that boring movie about him.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

MLBCOUSIN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

Introducing Squirmy G

MLBDaddy would like to introduce a new rappa on the scene who can break it down straight up gangsta like no other. Here is a shot of Squirmy G warming up his vocals with a little ballin before spittin mad game on his Fischer Price mic.

Hours of hard work have led to Squirmy G's debut album, the lyrics of which will be shared on this blog over the next few months. Let's kick it off with this hot track... a remix of Soulja Boy. Enjoy!!

Squirmy Boy by Squirmy G
(whooooooooooo!!!)

Squirmy boy tell em

ayy i got this new dance fo yall called tha Squirmy Boy

(whooooooooooo!!!)

u gotta potty den smile back 3 times at your momma

(aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh whooooooooooo!!!)

Squirmy Boy up In it (oh)
Watch Me Squirm It
Watch Me Crawl
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat (oh)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me Soak It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat diapy
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me crawl in just one sock
Super Soak Dat Diapy
Then take me to my changing dock
Super Fresh, Now Wash my blocks
Gigglin' On dem Hatas Mane
When I Do Dat Squirmy Boy
I Lean out my crib and Squirm Dat Thang
(Now whooooooooooo!!!)
I'm Gigglin' on yo Torii baby
And If We Get To Fightin
Den im Pullin' on yo tail
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Soak It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
I Got Me Some Onezies

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me Soak It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat diapy
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me Soak It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat diapy
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

I'm Bouncin In Ma Jumperoo
Watch Me Super Soak Dat Diapy
I'm a Pass It To gram ma
Then she Gon scoop me up fa sho
Haterz Wanna Be Me
Squirmy Boy, I'm The Man
They Be Lookin At Ma Baby Fat
Sayin' he's the cutest man (man)
Watch Me Do It (Watch Me Do It)
Squirm (Squirm)
Soak'N through (Soak'N through)
Nope,You Can't Do It Like Me
So Don't Do It Like Me
Folks, I See You Tryna Do It Like Me
Man That Diapy Was Ugly

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me Soak It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat diapy
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

Squirmy Boy up In dis diapy
Watch Me Soak It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Soak Dat Squirmy Boy
den Super Soak Dat diapy
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)
Now watch me whooooooooooo!!!
(Soak Dat Squirmy Boy)

im too clean off in dis crib
Watch me soak it watch me roll
Watch me poo dis Pamper den supa soak dat diapy(whooooooooooo!!!)
supa soak dat diapy(supa soak dat diapy)
supa soak dat diapy(supa soak dat diapy)
supa soak dat diapy(supa soak dat diapy)
supa soak dat diapy(supa soak dat diapy)

Calling All Voters

Please go to Aaron Gleeman's blog and vote for your favorite logo/header for his site.

I made #5 "Women of AG.com" - not saying you have to vote for it, but you should!

Dear Joe

Dear Joe,

On behalf of the readers and voters of the first annual MLBDaddy What's Cooler Tournament I would like to sincerely congratulate you for being crowned tournament champion.

The What's Cooler Tournament started on March 12, 2008 as a chance for readers of http://mlbdaddy.blogspot.com/ to choose their favorite people involved with the 2008 Minnesota Twins. Without your knowing, you faced off against eight worthy competitors, cruised your way to the finals, and went head-to-head against your Jimmy Johns loving buddy Justin Morneau. You won! Let me be the first to say that you are a very deserving and worthy champion.

As winner of the Tournament I would like to invite you to Duluth, MN in the fall of 2008 (after the baseball season of course) to partake in a formal dinner that will celebrate your great victory. Accommodations will be provided for you and one guest. These accommodations include, but are not limited to: a two nights stay in the MLBDaddy guest room, a fabulous spa experience in a spacious 6-seat custom hot tub, a round of golf with MLBDaddy and all his buddies, 6 delicious meals which you may choose from MLBDaddy's personal menu, a guided tour of the city and all its wonderful attractions, and much more.

Furthermore, I wish to inform you that design of the Whats Cooler Tournament Champion t-shirt has already begun. Once the shirt is completed and has been approved for sale, I will ship you one immediately. The only thing I ask is that you wear it with pride.

Also, just as an FYI, the list of people you defeated to become champion includes Bert, Boof, Dazzle, Marney, Neshek, and Dick Bremer. Feel free to rub this win, a win I feel you should consider one of the greatest achievements of your life time, into their faces.

On behalf of MLBDaddy and his readers I wish you all the best in your future career and life endeavors. May this tournament championship be the first of many during your professional career!

Sincerely,


MLBDaddy
Blogger and Twins Fan
mlbdaddy.blogspot.com

Copy Catz that are Down

This lamo forwarded email type thing is circulating on some blogs I frequent and I wanted to give voters a few more days on the finals of the WCT to cast their ballots so I figured I would give my readers some insight into the mind of MLBDaddy by posting my answers...

Maybe I should have a whats cooler tournament with people in my everyday life.

I love the smell of victory.

People would say that I take some things that are not important too seriously, and that I take some things that are important, not seriously enough.

I don’t understand why my wife needs more than one purse.

When I wake up in the morning its almost always about 5-10 minutes before the alarm will go off.

I lost our house phone once because I put it on top of my vehicle and then drove away. Umm, this may have actully happened twice.

Life is full of things that I usually think are going to suck and then turn out to be aight.

My past is like a really solid episode of Degrassi Junior High.

I get annoyed when I'm trying to watch something on TV and MLBMommy is trying to TIVO two other shows and that little message pops up that says "Would you like to stay on this channel or change the channel to tape 'Real World 47: Hawaii'.

Parties are not my thing.

I wish that I could watch my dad catch a 10 lbs plus walleye.

Dogs are smarter than most humans.

Cats... I got catz that are down!

Tomorrow Livan Hernandez attempts to go 4-0.

I have low tolerance for shopping.

I’m totally terrified of getting the pull hooks with my driver and irons and never being able to hit the ball straight again.

I wonder why peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are not called jelly and peanut butter sandwiches.

Never in my life have I used more than 10 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

High school class reunions in Silver Bay, MN are something that I wish everyone in the world could experience at least once.

When I’m nervous I'm usually rewarded with something really great, like MLB.

One time at a family gathering my mom stepped on a hot cast iron bar and got 2nd degree burns on her foot and we had to leave for home before the family volleyball game and then when we got home the fireworks in Duluth exploded all at once and it was just not a good day.

Take my advice: We are all going to die someday anyways, so eat what you want.

Making my bed would be the biggest waste of time in my day.

I'm almost always thinking about what time the Twins are on.

I’m addicted to snacking.

I want someone to break Barry Bonds homerun record and I would prefer that it not be A-Rod.

WCT: THE FINALS!

SEMI-FINAL MATCH-UP #2 RESULTS: The second semi-final came down to the wire and Justin just edged out Pat winning by only 3 votes. I suppose when there are only 13 votes winning by 3 is a pretty large margin, but still it was close. I would do some math and give you the percentages, but who cares? Justin won.

UPDATED TOURNEY BRACKET

ON TO THE FINALS!

Joe vs Justin

It has been a long hard road to the finals for both Joe and Justin but each have earned their way into this championship match-up in one of the most spectacular tournaments known to man.

There is little left to say about either of the finalists. Together they are known as the M & M Boys. Together they have eaten many a Jimmy Johns sub. And together they will now battle it out to become the 1st Annual MLBDaddy Whats Cooler Tournament Champion.

Will it be Joe or will it be Justin?

Happy voting!

WCT SEMI-FINAL ROUND MATCH-UP #2: JUSTIN vs. PAT

SEMI-FINAL MATCH-UP #1 RESULTS: Why this match-up was a blowout sorta baffles me. I guess that not enough of the FSN watching grandma's who seem to love Bert are reading and voting on this blog. Bert only got two votes. This outcome saddens MLBDaddy because I think that it would have been fun to write to Bert and tell him he was the winner. I think he would have honestly been proud. But such is life. Also, "HE IS HOT" is no longer a valid justification for a vote in the What's Cooler Tournament. I've let it slide too long, but I can't sit idly by for another minute... no more "Joe is hot, he gets my vote" cause that is cousin robby. I'm not trying to say you can't vote for someone because you think they are hot, I'm just saying I don't want to hear about.

Moving along...

Justin vs Pat

Justin is HOT, and I am a fifth grade girl. So now that's out of the way let's figure out if he is cool.

Justin has a pretty darn sweet website. He thinks that he can hit the ball farther than Krash but I'll put 5 bucks on #28 from CSS in a home run derby. Krash, you get to swing aluminum.

Justin is clearly Canadian and MLBDaddy used to thoroughly enjoy the cherry flavor. Do they still make that drink?

When Justin was 16 he reached a crossroad in his life. He had to choose between pursing a life as a puck stopper in hockey or a ball masher in baseball. The curly haired, tall guy chose wisely. The hockey playoffs are not even on network TV. What does that say about how sweet that sport is.

Pat Neshek's blog is still red.

Today I read this from his blog...

"Other things about signing, I love signing before the game outside the dome and my favorite place to sign is in the bullpen about 8-20 mins before the game...Just come down to the bullpen and give me a shout. I heard they are selling my t-shirts at the dome, if you pick one up be sure to stop down and have me sign it."

I wish that MLB was a bit older because we would for shizzle be making a trip down to the bullpen to hit Pat up for an autograph. Not a lot of players actually enjoy signing autographs.

**Side note - MLBDaddy has two pieces of signed memorabilia in his possession 1) A Kirby Puckett rookie card 2) a signed Kevin Tapani card and baseball that I picked up at a Twins signing in the White Bear Lake Napa Auto Parts store. Yes, you read that correctly, I got Tapani's autograph at the Napa Auto Parts store, whassup!

One of Pat's favorite players is Kirby Puckett. Pat wishes Kirby didn't eat so much fried chicken, and MLBDaddy seconds that thought. I wonder if Pat cried the day Kirby died like MLBDaddy did.

So let's review. Fifth grade girls are annoying and Justin Morneau has slightly less home run power than the fifth hitter in the CSS lineup. Thank god Justin's games are not being broadcast on a network called Versus. Pat is an autograph signing machine who enjoyed MLBDaddy's all-time favorite player Kirby Puckett.

Happy voting!

WCT SEMI-FINAL ROUND MATCH-UP #1: BERT vs. JOE

MATCH-UP #4 RESULTS - In what turned out to be the closest match-up in the first round, Pat Neshek defeated Dick Bremer to earn a spot as the final semi-finalist. He then proceeded yesterday to give up a freaking grand slam to the lamo White Sox which caused many a voter to reconsider. After some debate, MLBDaddy has decided to let yesterday's performance slide and pass Pat into the next round. Here is the updated tourney bracket...

Now we move into the semi-final round where things will start to get difficult. Hopefully the following will help you make an unbiased selection...

Bert vs Joe

Bert Blyleven used to keep up his own web site. I get the impression that the only reason he had it was to try to get into the Hall of Fame. Apparently he stopped caring about that right around December 9, 2005 cause his site hasn't been updated since then. I enjoyed the hell out of reading some of the columns from this site. Along the way I learned many valuable things, such as...

1. What a mulligan is: "In golf, a mulligan is used when you don’t like the shot you just hit, so you use a mulligan to try and do better."

2. What to watch out for when school is out: "School is out, so watch out for all those little knuckleheads around your neighborhood."

3. Why momentum rules: "Momentum is the good part of baseball and of life. Isn’t it nice to get into a good rhythm in your everyday life and isn’t it amazing how everything feels great and everything falls into place? Well, that’s what I want for all of my readers. Feel good about yourself and you will find that momentum."

Sounds to me like Bert would be a valuable asset to Dr. Phil if he was ever in need of a partner for his show. Bert has many a deep thought.

Also, Bert Belongs.

Joe Mauer has a fan club. He kinda reminds me of Neo from The Matrix both in the way he looks and his Matrix-like way of living his life. It's kinda like everything he does is in slow motion. He also sells and markets his very own hitting tool called The Quick Swing. High school coaches that do not have a clue buy it and let their players use it.

I've never seen Joe Mauer get upset about anything. He is one of the most even tempered players I have ever watched. I'm not so sure that is a good thing. Does the guy even care? Probably not as long as his burns don't get messed up.

So let's review. The semi-finals are a time to step it up. Both Bert and Joe offer a lot of quality and quantity in the arena of coolness. I have never been to that arena myself. Bert is the next Dr. Phil, while Joe has a product that may give you Matrix-like abilities at the plate. Oh yeah, the Quick Swing can be purchased for a mere $79.95.

Happy Voting!!

WCT MATCHUP #4 - PAT vs DICK

MATCHUP #3 RESULTS: Match-up #3 easily went to Justin. Marney didn't have the support of the female vote and as a result got completely lambasted in the polls. She might have lost this battle, but the gift she recently received should at least slightly make up for her not being crowned the Whats Cooler Tourney champion. I would like to send my most sincere congratulations to Marney as she recently gave birth to a baby boy. Way to go Marn!!

Pat vs Dick

Pat Neshek is cool. The dude does his own thing, doesn't seem to really care what other people think of him, and throws sidearm. He has his own blog and had it well before it became 'the thing' for professional athletes to do. This man is a pioneer. If you read his blog long enough you will see red, your eyes will pulsate, and you might even become a vegan. Pat is a vegan and does not eat Sour Patch Kids.

Pat is the only Twin on my fantasy baseball team. He has three strikeouts and a 0.00 ERA in one inning pitched. My fantasy team it called The Skinny16's. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers throughout the season.

Pat has a very peculiar delivery to the plate. Supposedly he developed his signature style after an arm injury back in high school made it impossible for him to throw over the top. MLBDaddy thinks the dude is just a different sort of Cat and is a bit wacked out in everything he does. He's also one of the best short relievers in the game.

Dick Bremer is a Minnesotan through and through. He is also a bit of cheeseball. Who am I kidding here, he is more than a bit of a cheeseball. But that doesn't mean he isn't cool.

Dick is the play-by-play man on the Twins television broadcasts and has been working as a Twins broadcaster for 24 years. He gets to chill with Bert on a regular basis. For fans that just don't get it, they are one of the most highly entertaining broadcasting duos in all of baseball. For example, last night I learned that Dick once gave Bert a brick for his birthday.

Dick has never said one negative thing about the Twins organization in his life. Clearly, he is a realist, because lets face it, has there every been anything negative to say about the Twins? Only Dick could make Alex Cole sound like the greatest center fielder to ever play the game, and for that, you gotta love the guy.

So let's review. Pat Neshek is a non Sour Patch Kid eating blogger. His blog has a solid red background that may cause seizures. His fastball tails in to right handed hitters and his slider is filthy. GO SKINNY16's!! Dick Bremer is a homer and his first name is Dick. If he was your friend he would give you lavish birthday gifts. He honestly thinks that Sidney Ponson was an outstanding pitcher while he was with the Twins.

Happy voting!