July 7th

I decided today that it's time for me to start blogging again. As I began thinking about what to write about I got really nervy and couldn't think of anything good. I wanted something powerful that would quickly draw all 3 of my former everyday readers back the site and give them something to enjoy. So I visited trusty google and entered the phrase "first blog post tips" and found a page that had 5 Simple Ways to Open a Blog Post with a Bang. Well, the way I look at it is I don't just want my opening to be a bang, I want my entire post to be a bang. In an attempt to use the advice that this page offers, I will instead incorporate all 5 tips into one banging post.
Here goes...

1) Ask A Question
MLBDaddy asks a question: Do people honestly thing that vests look good on them?

2) Share an Anecdote or Quote
MLBDaddy Shares an Anecdote: I was sitting at Ichiban last Friday and this turd sandwich who we were tabled up with kept asking really stupid questions of the chef who was clearly perturbed. My favorite question was... "Was this lobster raised in cold water or warm water?" To which I was hoping the waiter would say "would you like it if I used my Ichy knife to chop up the crap I am going to kick out of you?" It didn't happen, but it would have been cool if it did.

MLBDaddy Shares a Quote: "Tweeting is stupid."

3) Invoke the Mind's Eye
MLBDaddy Invokes the Mind's Eye: Picture this, you are sitting on the highest and last branch of a 250 foot tall tree and there is a raging fire burning upwards on the trunk of the tree towards you. Shall you choose to jump you will most certainly be killed by the impact of your body crushing against the ground. Shall you choose to remain in the tree, your body will be scorched and your flesh will melt and probably not smell very good.

4) Use an Analogy, Metaphor or Simile
MLBDaddy uses an Analogy: Being a father is like being locked into a really joyous and happy cell block for the rest of your life.

MLBDaddy uses a Metaphor: For a two year old, MLB can throw some gas, but he doesn't really have a sniff where its going.

MLBDaddy uses a Simile: Derek Jeter chews like a cow.

5) Cite a Shocking Statistic
MLBDaddy cites a shocking statistic: 8% of voters who have casted a ballot on beejo.typepad.com think that Ivy is a good choice for the name of my second baby.


Mmmmk. Bye!