Before continuing I must give a gleeful MLBDaddy shout out to B Donkey for correctly answering the Boof look-a-like contest. B Donkey is single, currently lives with his parents in Hermantown, MN and would be one heck of a catch for any lovely ladies out there looking for love. You can vote for B to be casted on The Real World by clicking here.
Moving right along...
 JOE |  DAN |
Joe Mauer has arguably the sweetest swing in baseball. He has a good eye at the plate, and according to various female sources is also good for their eyes.
Mauer was a three sport star in high school at Cretin-Derham Hall where he broke all sorts of records in baseball, basketball and football. He was the National High School Quarterback of the Year in 2000 and turned down a full football scholarship to Florida State to enter
the MLB Draft. Decently sweet decision.
Joe is the only American League catcher to ever win a batting title. He was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. He had a cool Pepsi ad with Johnny Damon last year. He dated this chick. They broke up.
I think if Mauer played for any other team than the Twins I would consider him a fairy boy. Example: He modeled for Perry Ellis.
Mauer likes Jimmy Johns, a lot.
Dan Gladden used to have a mullet and his nickname is "The Dazzle Man". He never had one of the sweetest swings in baseball, but he definately endorses one of the sweetest beers in baseball, Glick Beer.
Dan hit a grand slam in game one of the '87 World Series, which the Twins went on to win. Seven years later he won another baseball championship, this time in Japan. He cut off his mullet, but chicks still like to hug up on him.
The dude is a color man on the Twins radio broadcasts. In the fourth inning he takes over the play-by-play mic and the only things the listeners will know for the next hour is when the next Harley rally is, how the Glick Beer tastes, and who hit the latest Cambria homerun.
I would classify his radio skills as somewhere between terrible and really terrible. He used to have a mullet and stache though.
So let's review. Joe is like the dream athlete of the world and especially dreamy to the ladies. I hope he bats two hole for the Twins this year. Dan is a World Series hero and gets insane amounts of style points because he used to sport a dashingly brilliant mullet.
Happy Voting!
25 comments:
although the red-haired mullet, nickname 'dazzle man', and the world series champ is hard to overcome, i am voting for joe!
reasons being:
-not only is he a stud at baseball, he was also an all american in high school football
-he was the first batting champ as a catcher since johnny bench
easy enough!
Lib - You might want to check your Johnny Bench facts. He never won a batting title. Not to be a blog comment Nazi but seriously, let's clean it up around here. :)
ooooh, tough matchup here. not really. joe has to be the #1 seed, right? hometown kid. #1 pick. batting champion. hot. you can't make stuff like this up.
i'm voting for joe, but i want you to promise that grandpa jake isn't going to be mentioned in the next round.
also, that b donkey kind of looks like matthew fox. :)
I would rather 'hug up on' Joe. Your various female sources are correct here. Simply irresistable Joe wins my vote.
I'm not sure this is a fair matchup, being that Joe is half man, half machine. However, Dan can make people stand on their head.
But my vote will definitely have to go to Joe.
i vote for joe. my reasoning? i could stare at him all day long.
the painful 3 inning play-by-play the dazzle man puts me through daily or joe's inability to drive in a run?
I vote joe, he has more potential.
Joe Mauer
Is that Kim hugging up on DG??
yeah. like mlbdaddy would ever let me wear a visor.
and like i would ever wear a SARONG over PANTS? what the?
pretty sure i'd hug up on that though. don't you think that cup he's holding is a spitter? i automatically assume it is for some reason. i call it the 5d effect.
oh geez sorry about that...paul told me that. i guess it's just another reason to not listen to your husband! ;)
HA!
also, paul wanted me to add this to redeem myself in the blogging world:
only two catchers in MLB history have won the batting title, Bubbles Hargrave (Cincy) in 1926 with an average of .353 and Ernie Lombardi (Boston) in 1940 and 1942 with averages of .319 and .330.
Lib - Incorrect again. Three catchers have won it. You forgot Joe Mauer.
Also, how did you get your name in the comments to link to your blog instead of your profile?
Joe all the way. For one reason and one reason only....H-O-T!!!!
Normally, I would not divert from apparent overwhelming consensus, but in this case I must. Though I'm not a fan of motorcycles, Gluek beer is the worst I've ever tasted (I've tested a wide range of bottom-shelf beers), and I've never cared for super long hair on males, but I feel I must still vote for Dan. He was the spunky spark for a Twins team that in fact did go all the way.
My vote is for dazzle...I have respect for a man who drinks cheap beer as I drank Brew City Ice for a year or 2. I have a man crush on joey "the gun" mauer but he didnt bring the joy to the whole state of MN by winning a world series that gladden and crew did.
You have to tip your cap to Dan Gladden on this one. He has a ring, he had a mullet and he is still pulling endorsement deals. He is the lead spokesperson Glueks beer, enough said. Mauer, although a great young talent, needs to put in his time to reach Gladden status.
joe mauer.
megan.
Ok Kim, sorry about that. I didn't REALLY think that was you hugging up on Daz. I looked at that picture so quickly, I didn't even notice the sarong-over-jeans combo. Ick!
Joe Mauer. Hot. No contest.
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