Wednesday What's Cooler: Rocky Taconite or the Two Harbors Rooster?

ROCKY VS ROOSTER

In Silver Bay, Minnesota sits a statue that "honors the genius of those who figured out how to change a useless rock into a valuable product." His name is Rocky Taconite. He is this cheery little dude who holds a pick and wear's a miners hat and greets all passersby that enter Silver Bay via County Rd. 5 or Outer Drive or whatever you want to call it. Built in 1964, Rocky is a symbol of the transition from taconite to steel. To me, he is a reminder that MLBDoggy is about to vomit in the back seat of the family car. She usually gets car sick every time we go to Silver Bay, and in front of Rocky is her favorite puking spot.

I think that MLBMommy might have a secret crush on Rocky. Her personal image on her google mail account is of Rocky's smiling face. Odd? Yeah.

In Two Harbors, Minnesota, in front of a gift shop, sits a eight foot tall rooster. Yep, it really does. The rooster is made of fiberglass and was erected in the 1960's when the gift shop owner had a choice between similar statues of a dinosaur, a bear, or a horse. Now why did he choose a rooster? MLBDaddy thinks its because he wanted everyone to marvel at the size of his... chicken. Anyways, the rooster is pretty sweet. Two of the town's most major news stories over the past 20 years have centered around the thievery of the rooster. In 1997, the rooster was stolen by a rival graduating class and the newspaper ran with the headline "12 Foot Cock Stolen." In 2003, the rooster was again stolen and driven 20 minutes south to Duluth where it was thrown off an overpass of I-35 and crashed to its demise. The rooster had to be replaced as a result of this tragic act.

So what's cooler, Rocky Taconite or the Two Harbors Rooster? I know I might take some flack from the family on this one, but I have to go with the Two Harbors Rooster. I'm all for things that have no rhyme or reason for existing yet are still well known by people all over the world. The rooster is basically the only thing that the city of Two Harbors has going for it, and without it I can't think of another quality reason to live there.

An Ode to Spring Training

Baseball season is finally here,
it's MLBDaddy's time to cheer.
Lets review and look ahead,
the creator of 'Smell Em' they call Red.

All the teams have opened up camp,
A boggy marsh is pretty damp.
Pitchers and catchers are getting in work,
Barry Bonds is still a jerk.

Lets take a look back at the off season,
there's been lots of changes for many reasons.
Torii gone, Santana too, BOO HOO(F)
Many pounds have been lost by Boof.

There was once a man who lived near Nantucket,
He took a big needle, in his butt he stuck it.
The steroids made him big and strong,
Now he's just another ding dong.

How embarrassing that must be for him,
Chances he will make the hall are slim.
I realize he didn't want to give up home runs,
but why put steroids in your buns?

Anyways, I'm sick of all that crap,
maple trees have sticky sap.
It's time to move on, am I not right?
Who the heck is pitching on opening night?

I'd have to say I'm pretty darn nervy,
Marisa Miller is nice and curvy.
The Twins pitching is young and unproven,
I use U-Haul for all my movin.

Who's playing center, second, and third?
Nick Punto is a frickin turd.
I'd like to see Mauer have a good year,
I'd also like a life time supply of beer.

Is anyone sold on Delmon Young,
or is he a pile of monkey dung?
I think that he'll be a crap addition,
lots of problems is my premonition.

The critics think the Twins will stink,
My cousin Robby dresses in pink.
I hope they are at least a decent squad,
For that I will stand and applaud.

It doesnt matter if they are good or not,
MLB's nose will be full of snot.
Together we will watch many a game,
I'll snuggle him and teach him all the players names.

I can't wait for the first pitch,
its like a scratch that needs an itch.
Yay yay yay, who needs another reason?
It's almost time for baseball season!!

Wednesday What's Cooler: Being Dennis Anderson or Being Sven Sundgaard?

Denny vs. Sven

Dennis Anderson is a legend. He ends his WDIO TV broadcasts each and every night by saying "Good night and be kind."

Check out this list of cool squat he does, none of which is made up, I swear... he has been a licensed pilot for 29 years, he is a taxidermist and has been since 1959, he fishes, hunts, snowmobiles, and builds model railroads. Is that all you ask? No, not even close. The man is also an ordained minister, a father of four, a grandfather of ten, and wears a toupe. My wife once saw him mowing his lawn while wearing a speedo. I am crap kicking you not.

Not only does he anchor the Duluth news, but he has also been the host of the annual SMDC New Years Eve party held at the DECC each year. He gave it up when he realized he was way too cool for the party. Hard to believe anyone could be cooler than a night highlighted by the music of Sh-boom isn't it?

Sven Sundgaard is a spikey-haired, metrosexual who is inspired by Galileo and his favorite sport is ski jumping. UMMM.

Anyways, he used to be a weatherman in Duluth before he became TC and left for a job at Kare 11 in the Twin Cities. From what I remember, he is a cheery, upbeat chap who has a serious passion for the weather. He is a sell out just like his buddy Edward Moody who also left Duluth for "greener pastures".

Sven has his own blog where he discusses important world issues such as horses, rainbows, and running in spandex. I hear he as become quite popular in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and some think he has even reached cult status.

So what's cooler, being Dennis Anderson or Being Sven Sundgaard?

Although MLBDaddy may have a slight bias towards a man that has served his community for almost 40 years, he is still thinks Dennis is much cooler than Sven. Bias or not, it's hard to argue with a man who's mustache is thick enough to hide and keep fresh cookie crumbs he ate the night the Edmund Fitzgerald sank on Lake Superior.

Definitions

A few posts back MLBDaddy defined Jags, Zippys and Yahoos and allowed readers to comment on a word or phrase they would like to learn MLBDaddy's definition of. Those definitions are as follows, along with a sentence that uses the word combined with the commenter who submitted the request...

eejit - if hooked up to a brain monitor, an eejit would register as a legally brain dead person.

MLBDaddy uses "eejit" in a sentence: My sister Anne is a complete eejit who likes to shop for sweaters at Tuuurget.

stereotype - To make judgement (usually negative) about a person, place or thing before gathering the appropriate amount of information required to make a judgement. To make a hasty generalization based on little evidence or hearsay

MLBDaddy uses "stereotype" in a sentence: Not to stereotype, but government workers, even retired ones like Squirmysgp, are clock-watching, initiative-blocking bureaucrats, ignorant about the financial constraints of the real world.

shorty - A male term used to define a female he finds attractive, particularly fine, or hot. Shorty's usually get "holla'd at" because they are irresistible to the male eye.

MLBDaddy uses "shorty" in a sentence: If he wasn't a dude and if he didn't wear a fanny pack while sporting a man bag, Tony Gjerdahl could probably be Jay-Z's shorty.

douchebag - A completely inappropriate word that should never be used at work, on a blog, or anywhere else. Basically it's another way of calling some one a turd sandwich, only it adds a little extra zing.

MLBDaddy uses "douchebag" in a sentence: When MLBDaddy writes bad code or asks annoying questions, his coworker Beanski, will either ignore him or call him a douchebag and carry on with her day.

meatball - A person lacking common sense who thinks they are always right about everything. This can also refer to a person who is overweight and almost perfectly round in shape.

MLBDaddy uses "meatball" in a sentence: If Joepa eats enough donuts, he will more than likely fit into both meanings of the word meatball.

numnut - A male who once got struck in the privates and has let the experience negatively affect the rest of his life.

MLBDaddy uses "numnut" in a sentence: When Joepa was five years old he survived a horrific bike accident in which he landed awkwardly on the handlebars and has ever since been sort of a numnut.

mack daddy - A male who has more game than can be contained in a large bottle or jar

MLBDaddy uses "mackdaddy" in a sentence: Landing a fly shorty like Jenny Cook must have taken some serious mackdaddy skills.


So there's MLBDaddy's definitions. Add your own definitions or sentences in the comments section or throw another word my direction and I can do another one of these posts down the road. Buh-Bye!

An Ode To Fischer Price Musical Toys

MLBDaddy hears them every day,
during little MLB's time of play.
He pushes the buttons and sits back to enjoy,
the sounds that reverberate from his toys.

Some are soft, gentle, and fun,
while others annoy everyone.
Some make him laugh while others make him learn,
its double plays he wants to turn.

It might be counting or a nursery rhyme,
we hear them all if we wait some time.
They keep his attention for at least a bit,
but not as well as his bat and mitt.

I think that the toys are good and fine,
but hearing them daily sends shivers down my spine.
I am not one to dis,
But one of the tunes goes something like this...

'Shapes are in my cookie jar,
Triangle, heart and star,
There's a circle over there,
Here's a square.'

Not that that is all that bad,
its not like it makes me mad.
As long as MLB is smiley and bright
He can play with his toys all day and night.

I bet you didn't know...

Some dude named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

Lets analyze, shall we?

Apparently this guy started hiccuping back in the 20's and didn't stop until 1990. Even weirder, the hiccups started while the guy was slaughtering a hog. Does slaughtering a hog have some sort of magical way of enducing hiccups? I'm not shocked that he is from Iowa either. Weird things happen in Iowa. Also, having the hiccups for 69 years is probably one of the only ways to make living in Iowa interesting.

When he first started hiccuping they say he hiccuped 40 times per minute. They estimated that he hiccuped 430 million times during his life. How could the guy ever get anything done? How did he not jump off the nearest bridge? How is he not know as a great American hero? I'm pretty sure I have a lot of respect for the guy.

Do you think people that met him would sneak up on him and before he realized they were there yell things at him to try to scare the hiccups out of him? How many times do you think he tried holding his breath to get rid of them? Do you know anything else that he could have tried? Also, how is there not a medical procedure that could have cured this condition?

Charles was also married twice. There is no word on if the hiccuping forced the end of his marriages or not. I can't imagine 30-40 hiccups per minute throwing a wrench in my relationship with MLBMommy, she can put up with anything.

So what have we learned here? 1). The hiccups suck. 2). Don't slaughter pigs. 3). Don't live in Iowa. 4). My wife rules!

Let's Sign Livan?

Livan Hernandez is fat, old, and can't get guys out.

I'm begining to question if Bill Smith can do this job. An MLBDaddy inside source informed me after hearing Smith speak at a recent coaches clinic that I should be very concerned with the Jag who is running my favorite team.

Do you think Smith watched any Twins games last year? Is it possible he didn't know that Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz were on the team? Did he not watch them give up more runs and look more pathetic than Ferd Fredrickson did in his last outing in the Arrowhead league?

I'm not sure how many washed up old guys that can't get outs it takes to prove that washed up old guys can't get outs, but it appears the Twins are trying to find out. This free agent signing is so meaningless and wrong that I even preempted talking about it to discuss Man Bags and Fanny packs. That's sad.

After having a few days to think about it and a chance to read what the experts have to say, I hate this signing. I think it is pretty obvious that the Twins are going to struggle to compete this year given the youth and inexperience of their starting rotation. That is a statement that I don't want to have to repeat again at the start of next season. The only way that I won't repeat it is if the team decides to give innings to their young guys who need to learn how to get outs, instead of to old guys who can't get outs.

Hernandez is a good signing for a team that needs a 4th or 5th starter to solidify a playoff caliber rotation. The Twins are far from that. I wish they would trust the talent they have and let it develop.

Also, I wish I could get $5 million to throw 85 mph, be fat, old, and not get guys out.

Wednesday What's Cooler - Man Bags or Fanny Packs?

If you're a guy and you want to be a giant turd sandwich, go buy yourself a man bag and carry it all around with you. The 'man bag' or 'man purse' could also be known as a 'messenger bag' or 'reporter bag'. Whatever you want to call it, it will surely make your life (and everyone's life who sees you with it) rather depressing. Men that carry man bags are basically screaming to the world, 'I want to be a woman'. Some man bags are sleek and lightweight and can be very useful for carrying day to day work materials and other essentials. Some vests are sleek and lightweight as well, and like man bags, they still suck.

Fanny packs were made popular in the early '90s as a means for travelers to carry their belongings while exploring places like The Walleye Capital of the World or Tommy Turtle. I'm pretty sure the same guy that invented Fanny packs also created this website. Many fanny pack wearers also consider fluorescent orange and neon green as an integral part of their daily fashion.e One cool thing about fanny packs is that you can wear them in the front, on the sides, or in the back and can change what you call them depending on where you have located it. If it's on the front, call it a belt pack, on the side?, hip pack, on the back?, bum bag. Pretty sweet eh? Be careful if you are traveling in Europe though, "fanny" is used as a colloquialism for vagina in those territories. No one wants to be known as a fanny.

So what's cooler, the man bag or the fanny pack?
I gotta go with the fanny pack on this one. At least if you strap on a fanny pack you can wear a longer untucked shirt that can cover it up.

Jags, Zippys, & Yahoos

MLBDaddy has decided it's time to define 3 words that may be used often on this blog, they are... 1) Jags, 2) Zippys, and 3) Yahoos. Depending on where you look or who you ask, you could probably come up with several definitons for the aforementioned categories. MLBDaddy's definitions are as follows...

A Jag is someone who thinks of themself as special, generally is arrogant and selfish, and possibly went to a school like Duluth East where cake-like behavior is generally acceptable. Typically these people are very irritating to others in social situations. Depending on their degree of 'jagedness' they are either completely aware or completely unware that their behavior rubs others the wrong way. Most Jags actually have a decent chance of being likeable, although few ever let go of the "game winner" they scored back in '97 or how they "drank courvoisier" at Gma's, with Snoop Dogg, after his concert at the DECC. Jags surround themselves with people who think they are cool, like other Jags.

MLBDaddy's examples of Famous Jags: This guy, This guy, and thanks to Michael Rand (Not a Jag) for this lovely photo of them together.

Zippys more often than not have one or less friends. The definition of a Zippy is someone that tries to be cool at all hours of the day and puts maximum effort into this quest, but knows deep down that it's just not going to happen. They would never openly admit that it won't happen, and they will continually try to make it happen, but I, you, and they know it won't. Zippys are always the first to offer advice because obviously, they know everything. They know where to get the best lobster linguini in town. If you need to perform open heart surgery on a loved one in the middle of nowhere and all you have is a phone, call a Zippy, cause they can walk ya through it step by step. If you ever need someone to help clean out the outhouse, just tell a Zippy when to show up. A Zippy will do anything for someone they want to be friends with. Anything.

MLBDaddy's examples of Famous Zippys: This Guy, This Guy,and This Chick.

Yahoos just dont get it. They are generally clueless morons who are incapable of meeting even the most basic of human challenges. If their loved ones complain about their snoring, they will sleep in their car, in a random parking lot, with the engine running all night. (Gotta stay warm.) Yahoos have a sort of backwards mentality on their approach to life. For example, let's say a Yahoo is down to $50 left in his or her weekly budget. Faced with the choice of buying a pile of booze, cigarettes and washable tatoos OR buying baby food and diapers for their child, a Yahoo would choose the PBR, smokes, and body art and never really think twice about it.

MLBDaddy's examples of Famous Yahoos: This Guy, This Chick, and This Guy.

So there you have it. I'm thinking about nominating a Jag, Zippy, or Yahoo (JZY) Of the Month as a regular post on this blog. Is this a good idea? There are plenty of people out there I could classify as a Jag, Zippy, or Yahoo. The problem is that I don't want to bring any of my readers into a world of negativity. So lets put this to a vote. Should I post a JZY of the Month each and every month in 2008? If you like the idea, you may feel free to nominate a JYZ of the month as well.

Also, if you would like to leave a word in the comments and have MLBDaddy give his definition of the word, MLBDaddy will formulate a post based on these words.

Example word: Toolshed MLBDaddy's Definition of Toolshed: A toolshed is a male who thinks he is the bomb, tells people he is the bomb, but in reality is the complete opposite of the bomb. A toolshed can also be defined as a place where tools go to hang out together.

Coming up tomorrow... A Wednesday What's Cooler! Buh Bye.

An Ode To My Valentine

If you're not in the mood for some mushy love crap or are a Valentines scrooge in general, I suggest you do not read below this line.

---

How I've wondered what to say,

On this very special day.
It only comes around once a year,
and now Valentines day is almost here.

My heart is all a flitter flutter,
you make it melt like popcorn butter.
Your smile is so bright and warm,
For you I'd put a tattoo on my arm.

Our love grows stronger every week
Without you my future would be bleak.
You are a beauty thats for sure,
and your heart is very pure.

I'm not good at buying presents,
some corn fields are full of pheasants.
I could get you some flowers or jewels,
but the New York Yankees would still be tools.

We have a Squirmy and he is great,
that's a fact we can't debate.
He's for sure our little light,
and makes our days fun and bright.

You make my life oh so good,
I knew when we married that you would.
I really want you to know,
Just how much I love you so.

I appreciate everything that you do,
especially when you clean the Squirmy poo.
But seriously girl, I love you much,
It's my heart you always touch.

I think that it would be FINE,
If you'd be my Valentine.

Happy Birthday to My Sister!

Happy Birthday from MLBDaddy, MLBMommy, AND MLB!

I bet you didn't know...

SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.

Lets analyze, shall we?

First of all, I am not a SCUBA diver and have never been SCUBA diving before. Does this mean that I would be able to pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below? Doubtful.

I'm not sure SCUBA diving is something I would enjoy. I would try it if the opportunity ever presented itself, but its not something I really want to pay much money to do.

Passing gas is not something I really enjoy either, although I have done it before. I would go so far as to say I've done it several times. I have probably done it in a pool or a lake at depths of up to 5 or 6 feet. I don't recall that being much of a problem at all.

I'm guessing that at around 33 feet the pressure of the water is so great that nothing would be able to escape the body. Do you think it would be possible for someone to train their body to overcome this pressure? Can you picture some guy, like that freaky dude Criss Angel, training to fart at depths of 33+ feet? I can, the guy is a complete nutso. I would love to know what the training regimen involves.

Do you think you could get your name in the Guiness Book of World Records for that? I would guess that you could.

May I suggest that the next time you go SCUBA diving, make sure to let it all out at 32.9 feet or be prepared to hold it.

This Seals The Deal

In case you're still trying to make a decision on this weeks Wednesday What's Cooler, here's a pic that should make it pretty easy for you...

PAT SAJAK THROWS LIKE A GIRL

The reason that girls throw like girls is because they don't turn the ball back away from their target when they bring it back to throw. If you want an example of what I'm talking about, look above at the picture of Pat-Freaking-Sajak throwing like the biggest Sally in the world.

That's about it for today. Check in tomorrow evening for my first installment of I Bet You Didnt Know.

Wednesday What's Cooler: Being Alex Trebek OR Being Pat Sajak?

ALEX

PAT

I've spent a few hours of my life watching Jeopardy and a few hours watching Wheel of Fortune. Both are decent shows which can hold my attention and both have fascinating hosts which can hold the attention of just about anyone.

Alex Trekek has been the host of Jeopardy since 1984. He can speak German, Italian, Spanish, Russian, and is fluent in English and French. He used to have a mustache. I'm fairly certain the man has never been wrong about anything in his life. He once said... "It's very important in life to know when to shut up. You should not be afraid of silence." Right on Alex, you are one wise Canadian born American.

Pat Sajak has been the host of the night time version of Wheel of Fortune since 1983. He has never scored with Vanna White. Before writing this little entry I pretty much thought of him as a flamer. But then I found out he likes baseball. He even wrote on his own website a thank you to the sport. What I am saying here is that this guy rules. And if you have the cash, this dude can get you any vowel you want. Not many people can say that.

This is a hard one for me. Both Alex and Pat have some pretty sweet jobs, are smooth talkers, and I'm sure would represent themselves well on Dancing with the Stars. The baseball fan factor gives Pat some major bonus points in my book. But there is something about Alex that makes me think he has a little bit of the Chuck Norris "I'm going to kick all sorts of ass and take names" in him. For that reason, I have to go with him.

MLBDaddy's Final Analysis: Being Alex Trebek is cooler than Being Pat Sajak.

One final did you know... Alex Trebek's one and only appearance hosting Wheel of Fortune (in 1987) was part of an April Fools Day switcheroo with Pat Sajak.

Alex spinning Pat's wheel! This boggles my mind.

MLBDaddy Tortures the ones he loves the most.

Think of this as a sort of introduction to some people who are very important in my life. Not that I would ever want to, but here is what I would do to torture the ones I love the most...



Wife
MLBDaddy Tortures His Wife By: Standing next to her while she is on the computer and incessantly cracking his ankles.


Squirmy
MLBDaddy Tortures Squirmy By: Holding his bottle just out of his reach then flying it towards his little mouth while making an airplane sound only to have the bottle plane fly right by and continue its circling pattern.


Bizzle Baby
MLBDaddy Tortures Bizzle Baby By: Playing with Squirmy and ignoring her. (Bizzle Baby is the jealous type.)


Dad
MLBDaddy Tortures His Father By: Locking him in an empty room with nothing but a TV running a continuous loop of the New York Yankees greatest World Series moments.


Mom
MLBDaddy Tortures His Mother By: Calling her K Doggs.


Sister
MLBDaddy Tortures His Sister By: Playing "I Come From a Land Down Under" every time she exits the bathroom.


Bro-In-Law
MLBDaddy Tortures His Brother-In-Law By: Making him travel with Christina, a 45 year old mother of two, who is taking her first airplane trip. "Oh my god, I have to go through security?" "Uh, where is Gate F." "I can't find my seat and I don't know where to put my carry on luggage."


Nephew
MLBDaddy Tortures His Nephew By: Buying him the EXACT SAME PRESENTS as Squirmy his entire life.


Sis-In-Law
MLBDaddy Tortures His Sister-in-law By: Making her sit in a car on a sunny day, with the sun on her side, on a hundred mile drive through a forest of perfectly spaced planted trees which cause the sun to flicker on and off her face over and over again. (For some reason this bothers her).


Mom-In-Law
MLBDaddy Tortures His Mother-in-law By: Paying tourists to stop in at her gift store to ask really stupid questions like "Do you live up here year round?" or "Have you seen any moose around here today?"


Dad-In-Law
MLBDaddy Tortures His Father-in-law By: Buying a brand of snowmobile that is not Ski-doo.

MLBDaddy Tortures His Friends By: Blogging.


Now, how would you all torture me?

An Ode To Johan Santana

There was once a cool dude named Johan Santana.
Now he is lame like Hanna Montana.

Oh Johan we surely will miss you
and my sister would probably kiss you.

You have dazzled our eyes and made us fans.
To watch you, I would always change my plans.

I remember when you were a reliever,
and made yourself a master deceiver.

You earned your way into the starting rotation,
and we cheered you with many an ovation.

Now your an established player,
and probably would win if you ran for mayor.

You baffled hitters with all of your pitches,
And have gone from rags to riches.

You have made so many players wiff,
they leave the plate without a sniff.

I thought you would take us all the way,
but now you have left and I have nothing to say.

You're gone for the 'Big Stage' of New York,
the latest twenty-two million a year dork.

I used to think that you were the best,
but now your just another buster wearing a vest.

Oh how I wish you'd have stayed here to win,
you were one hell of a Minnesota Twin.

A Fan of the Game, And My Little Slugger

Max is my favorite thing in this world.

This blog got its name from my kid. My kid got his name mostly from his mommy (who I better say is also my favorite thing or I might get into some trouble). We both liked the name Max. Looking back on it, I think the name was just sort of thrown out there one day and it kinda stuck. I recall walking around the house using all sorts of names as we had fake dialogue amongst ourselves...

"Jacob, its time for dinner."
"Ty, don't put that in your mouth"
"Quentin, if you are going to pull the dogs hair, you'll find yourself in timeout."

Like I said, Max just sorta stuck.

His full name is Maxwell Lucas Berrisford, which makes his initials MLB, which just happens to also be an acronym for another one of my favorite things in the world. Major League Baseball. Coincidence? Sorta, not really, I don't know. It's not like we woke up one morning and said, "lets give our kid the initials MLB because that would be SUPER SWEET!" Naw, that's not how it went down at all. The initials pretty much just fell into place on their own, and just happened to be SUPER SWEET on their own.

I love baseball and I'm a fan of Major League Baseball. Ask the wife, she'll tell you it's one of the few things in this world I'm passionate about. The Twins are my squad. You'll probably find some commentary here about the team from time to time. Who's excited?

Anyways, Maxwell Lucas Berrisford and Major League Baseball are two of my favorite things. I'm a daddy. Hence the blog name MLBDaddy.

Before I go I wanted to give you a preview of how I hope things consistently shake out on MLBDaddy. Here is a tentative plan that is open to suggestion for improvement...

Mondays - Odes (I will write odes about various persons, places and things)
Wednesdays - What's Cooler? (I will pick two persons, places or things and discuss which I think is cooler)
Fridays - I Bet You Didn't Know (I will attempt to inform the masses about facts that few know)

The rest of my posts will like be random and varying and most likely more pointless babble. Buh-Bye!

What's cooler: wearing vests or blogging?

I hate vests. They are lame and suck. Delusionary people wear vests because they think a garment with no sleeves will make them look cool. I've heard people say, "I wear vests because they heat my core but allow my arms to breathe." I won't comment on that statement, but you can picture me rolling my eyes. Vests are not cool.

Blogging isn't that cool either. Mostly its pointless babble. At least the blogs that I read are. Yet, I still find myself reading some of them and at times looking forward to new posts. Not like, oh my god the opening day of baseball season is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. More like, oh, so and so has a new blog post and I would rather spend 5 minutes reading it than working on code to parse through a chemical formula and calculate a molecular weight. I make fun of blogging most of the time, and I don't really think it's all that cool.

So why am I starting a blog? Intrigue and challenge. I'm not intriguing. I would guess that no one in the world would describe me as so. Don't expect my posts to be intriguing either. But the challenge of having a blog intrigues me. Will I be able to do it? Will I keep it filled with new posts? Will the fact that I now have a blog cause some to point their finger at me and proclaim that I am a hypocrite?

I also enjoy writing. I hardly ever write, but I do enjoy it. I don't think I'm good at writing, but I do enjoy it. I don't think my sentences are always grammatically correct, especially, when, it, comes, to, comma, placement, but I do enjoy it. I don't think I have anything interesting to write about, but I do enjoy it. So why not start my very own blog for my very own enjoyment?

I'm not really sure what you will find here. Like the arms of a vest wearing man, my ideas need time to breathe. Hopefully my motivation will remain and this blog will evolve. In the words of one of my all-time favorite gangsta rappers Coolio, I would like to invite you all to "come along and ride on a fantasic voyage" with me.

So which is cooler, wearing vests or blogging? I'm pretty sure that neither are all that cool, but here I am blogging. I guess that makes me not all that cool (news to no one). At least I can still say I have never worn a vest!